PLAYER PROFILES

Name:
Dan Ahern (The Ginger Love Machine)

Status:
Lumbering/crunching full back. One of ‘the kids’

About:
Dan is one of the only members of the team with his own fan club, due to his laid back persona off the pitch transferring to something slightly different. Scores long range crosses-come-goals on a semi-regular basis. Dan loves a row with the ref after they quite rightly penalise him, then will forget the fine and you can GUARANTEE an opponent will call him a “fat ginger c*nt”.

Most likely to:
Nearly kill an opposition attacker with an almighty crunching tackle, before arguing that the ref is a dickhead for giving the foul. Stink the changing room out with a burning guff.