Welling Athletic 1 - 0 Camden FC
22 October 2006 - Report by Paul O'Brien
THE MORNING AFTER THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY BEFORE
Starting Lineup: Goalie Paul, Ginge, Catty, Kaan, Ashley, Benneth, Kirk, Burge, Paul, Mike Harvey, Searley. Subs: Navy Neil, Gambling Kev, Dan Ahern, Martin Layle, Dave Lee
Regular readers of the Itch Express match report will have already come to the conclusion that this is more of a column than a detailed match analysis, giving the writer a free reign to rant or ramble with no fear of editing from the webmaster. And this one is no different.
I picked up a copy of the Daily Greek (actually it was ‘The Greek on Sunday’) and noticed that the Friday night anniversary DOO had already had its coverage, so I will not cover that again. Instead I will go straight to match day.
The team started out with Dave Lee left in temporary charge as caretaker manager due to Mark Weyman being involved in something manly. I cant remember whether it was a war, bare-knuckle boxing or a baby show at Earls Court or something like that. We were shown to the changing rooms at Erith Rugby club and changed in the same one as welling while Burge laid a log that didn’t flush as the plumbing wasn’t working.
We were pitted up against a Camden old boy this match, Peter Greene, who left after being unable to impose himself in centre midfield with Burge, Kirk and Kaan in the way, and his bad-apple dressing room influence didn’t wash off on the high Camden camaraderie either. The starting line up saw Paul and Benneth on the wings, as we looked for an overdose of pace and fitness on the flanks.
In the first half Ginge and Kaan had a game within a game, where they played head tennis in our own half to add the element of risk. The fans loved it though, that’s the kind of thing they pay their money for. It is also worth noting the fans put out a good showing, with almost as many travelling for the away games as those who travel to home games. Excellent dedication to the team. In the first half we had many chances we were unable to make the most of, due to a combination of poor decision-making or last ditch defending by welling.
Somehow Welling constantly complained that the ref was on our side, despite him not giving us about 5 or 6 blatant handball decisions and letting them off a clear penalty! The first half ended 0-0. Off came Ben Whitehead who has vowed to take extra curricular steps to improve fitness, as has the other winger that day. And about time too from both of them! On came Martin Layle who I believe has a new album out and is promoting it as much as possible when he is not at trainin, Sunday matches or jiggying.
The second half started with Welling putting Camden under pressure for the first 10 minutes, with many corner or attacking throw-ins but everyone rallied and they never broke down the resistance.
Mid-way through the second half, it happened. I passed the ball long but was taken out by a two footed lunge with studs showing from the evil Greeney who had been looking suspicious and plotting all game, together with the evil laugh that accompanied any plan he concocted. As I went down I mentioned I didn’t think it was a fair tackle, and then me and Greeney swapped recipes for up-coming dinner parties and soirees. The ref had a word with us both for not having our heads on the game, while the other players from both teams tried separating the melee.
I came off soon after and inspected the leg, which I now see to be nicely marked through the shin pad which tried in vain to prevent injury. To booking for Greeney though, and the ref was more interested in trying to tell me what a nice bloke greeney was and talk to me about my reaction to the tackle than discipline the challenge itself.
Soon after I came off the goalie got in on the act. Not content on being jealous of my first name (thus trying to get the team to call him that instead of Mildred), he also decided he wanted to copy me and get one of their players to put their studs through his leg aswell.
Kaan, awarded the Warmlake Sports-sponsored Man of the Match award for his performance in this game, rallied the troops with a disco chant of “c’mon Camden, Pump it up!”. That’s right Camden, put your hands up in the air like you just don’t care, and move to the beat on the street.
They made a sub with a few minutes left. He was ‘one of them’, you know, they’re all really quick and have massive nobs and big muscles and all that. And no sooner had he joined the field of play when he took the ball well from a through pass and slotted the ball past Goalie Paul to make it 1-0. His number on the back of his shirt was 14, which we linked to penis size in inches. I was wearing number 11…
(That must be why Macca wears 17... ed)
We had our chances but didn’t take them, and there was only ever going to be one goal in it in this game where we scrapped against one of the better teams in the league this season.
Final whistle, and the players went back to the dressing room to shower off, to find there wasn’t a single working shower and Burge’s dump was still there having been done over an hour and a half before. So here’s a cheer to the hospitality and facilities at Erith Rugby club for this game. HIP HIP…..