Welsh Tavern Res 3 - 0 Camden FC
04 March 2007 - Report by Paul O'Brien
TURGID WELSH STROLL TO 3 POINTS AS FLACCID CAMDEN LEFT PISSING IN THE WIND
Starting Lineup: Goalie Paul, Ginge, Danny Marchant, Macca, Navy Neil, Matty P, Kaan, Searley, Paul, Little Chris, Gambling Kev Subs: Dorm, Dave Lee, Mike Harvey, Loul
Ginge has again contributed the title for this match report, or shall I say these match reports. I agree whole-heartedly with the title, and I’m not sure if there would be anyone would disagree.
After the ride there in Ginge’s dad’s car, ‘the beast’, we reversed the entire length of the road to the car park while all onlookers scratched their heads and wondered what the hell he was doing. The Macca and Kirk, fresh from 2 parties and no sleep, turned up. Kirk was visibly fucked. In the pre-match kick-about Kaan caught the ball on the volley very sweetly and blasted it towards goal, where it was intercepted by Mark’s toddler Kieran, who was knocked over. Of all the people to blast it, of all the people to be hit by it…
There were many people unavailable to even turn up today, such as Catty (Butlins), Benneth (Butlins), Dan ‘Butlins’ Ahern (Butlins) and Lee Burge (injured ankle), whilst playing with injuries were myself (groin strain picked up against Welling), and Kaan (shoulder). Plus maybe one or two more who were real men and never said anything about the knocks they carried.
Not content to have a depleted team, we also showed little effort in the first game where we rarely threatened their goal whilst they otherwise peppered our defence with attempts at final balls and shots from distance, before they scored their first with a free kick played to a diving header on the edge of the 18 yard box which completely wrong-footed Goalie Paul and went in. Very well taken goal actually. That same fella scored again later on, and it turned out his name, or more likely his nickname, was ‘nobcheese’. Nice. But the goal was 20 seconds before half time, which is a nasty time to concede.
Still in the first half, we did make an attack or two. Little Chris ran his bollocks off all game chasing down their defenders and forcing them to play the ball, sometimes out of play to give us the attacking impetus, which we unfortunately never capitalised on. Lee Searle hassled their central midfield including their nutcase who smashed his forearm into my face after we clashed for a 50-50 ball and also started on Little Chris on the stroke of half time after Chris committed himself to a 50-50 tackle. The same fella, whom used to go scouts with one of our players and was called Joe Eastwood apparently, got booked in one of the matches and gave a name along the lines of ‘Phil Davis’. That’s naughty. Blatant non-signed-on-player.
Then an attack for us where the ball was played forward and I did a mid-air back flick which I will probably never again pull off, Lee Searle picked the ball and played to Gambling Kev, who then played it through their defender’s legs to myself again just inside the area. Shaping to cross, I cut back past the full back’s lunge and laid the ball to Gambling Kev, when he unfortunately swung and missed as the attack petered out. It was a good move that deserved a goal.
R.I.P CORNER
Whilst making a save, Goalie Paul hurt his hand. As the team player profiles on the Camden website suggests, Goalie Paul is like Chris Kirkland in that he is always injuring himself. This time he was too hurt to play on after the half time whistle went, so Kev Wright donned his Gabor Kiraly / Rocky Balboa grey jogging bottoms and stepped in to take over the goalkeeping birth. Post-match tests have shown that Goalie Paul will be unable to play again as it risks permanent disability, so that has spelled his retirement at the age of 29. On behalf of us all involved in the team I say thank you very much Paul Wiseman for your contribution to the Camden.
In the second half we played down hill and expected to take the game to Welsh Tavern but sadly it was not the case. Players were tiring and attacks were not pulling off and we ended up conceding another goal.
I think it was after going a third goal down and the team having made all 3 substitutions in Kev Wright, Loul and Mike Harvey on for Goalie Paul, Matt Prentice and Gambling Kev respectively, Kaan could no longer play with his shoulder as it was and came off, leaving us with 10 men.
It finished 3-0 to the home side. Warmlake sports-sponsored Man of the match award goes to Little Chris, if only for effort, but also for being an attacking threat.